Don't shoot yourself, DUMB-ASS!

 

I've never been on a real roller-coaster. I imagine the experience to be similar to my weekend at the Lone Pine Rangers and OMSA state shoots in Prineville Oregon. A lot of ups....a lot of downs. A few thrills and a few moments of terror here and there.

The Lone Pine Rangers held their annual Father's Day shoot in conjunction with the OMSA Oregon State Shoot at the Lone Pine Arena in Prineville Oregon; one of my favorite places to shoot or just hang out. I had dropped Drifter off with Lauman Training a month prior for a tune-up and would pick him up after the shoot.

Time and money restrictions have prevented me from traveling to CMSA shoots this year. I try to stick with local Jackpots and events within a 100 mile radius....which is pretty easy to do in Arizona. Not so much in the PNW. Since I'd be traveling to pick up Drifter anyway, I was thrilled to be making the Lone Pine Shoot.

We had a full SL3 class for the Lone Pine Rangers shoot on Friday. I needed one more qualified win for a move-up to SL4 – open division. I will admit the word “sand-bagging” entered my thought process...it didn't exactly linger there....but it did make an appearance. A win on Friday meant I'd be shooting with the SL4's at the Oregon State Shoot Saturday and Sunday. There are no guarantee's in life (other than taxes and death) – and certainly not in mounted shooting. I would not go out a sand-bagger. Jack deserves better and frankly, so do I. I'd try my best and let the balloons pop as they will.

I really like the gals in my SL3 class. They are fun, supporting and encouraging. Lynn L especially pushes me to do better. “You CAN shoot that fast...let him run!” We usually run fairly close raw times with Lynn outrunning me more times than I her. Friday proved not to be her shoot – she missed a balloon...I shot clean and had my last qualified win as a SL3.

The move up dance: The single most terrifying occurrence for any introverted mounted shooter about to advance to the next level. I don't dance. I don't sing. I don't hum...not even driving down the road in my truck all alone. I have my Dave Stamey CD's for the musical aspect of road trips. I am essentially talent free. I would say I do posses some skills. I am weirdly mechanical for a girl who never took shop. I can fix stuff that needs fix'in. I make a pretty good pie and at age 10 I could break down and reassemble a mini-14 blind folded. But talent? Not a drop.

I swear I stressed more over the inevitable move up dance than I did shooting against the SL4's. On top of that...I wasn't going to be able to just get it over with Friday night after the shoot because awards were to be combined for both shoots Sunday after the State Shoot. Fabulous. Oh well – I had two days to figure something out. Damn it - if I can put together a semi-automatic with my eyes closed...surely I can figure out how to do a two step...or a dosey-doe...or whatever the hell they call such sadistic maneuvers.

Shooting with the SL4 class was oddly stress free. I figured there was no way I would place in the money. We only had 3 people in the class and second doesn't pay. I'd go out there – have some fun and just go for it. Not having anything to lose can be liberating.

The end of the first days 3 stages found me winning the class by 4 seconds. Nicole S. , the gal closest to me, was outrunning me by an average of almost 2 seconds but missed two balloons. I actually had a chance. Liberation exited the building as stress entered. Nicole rarely misses a balloon and I was fairly confident she wouldn't miss another one on the last two stages. I stuck with my original strategy to simply go for it. I'd rather give it my all and miss a balloon than safety-up and still get out-run.

Jack had been stellar all weekend. He was calm, cool and never took a wrong turn. We had picked up a little speed and I had no trouble shooting my balloons. The last two stages were right up our ally. Big, loopy patterns without turns or roll backs. I said my usual little prayer before each run: “Dear God...I pray for a smooth, clean and safe run for myself, fellow shooters and horses. I pray for a run I can feel good about no matter the outcome. AMEN”

Maybe we didn't warm up enough. Maybe it was colder that morning...or maybe Jack was just done being in an arena. We made our tight send-off circle ready to pick up some speed. I drew my random pistol and killed the first balloon. The rest is a bit fuzzy. Jack planted his front feet and went to bogging. It wasn't a major bronc ride by any means and he's bucked a whole lot harder in the past. I could feel him wanting to get with it if I didn't bring his head around. I needed both hands to keep the situation from escalating and ending up in the dirt. I was already hammered and ready to shoot. I attempted to de-hammer and re-holster the same time he slammed his front feet in the ground. I heard the gun go off but figured I'd shot into my holster. I got him somewhat under-control – re-drew my pistol and commenced to shoot the random pattern. I re-drew my second pistol for the last five and could feel him start to coil again. I shot a couple rounds just so he wasn't getting away with anything and exited with a 60 and an expression of WTF just happened?

We exited the arena at the unloading bucket to empty my brass. Fellow shooter and friend, Dan Littlefield, magically appears and is pulling off my holsters and asking questions I didn't yet comprehend. This must be how the fancy people feel who have stable hands to warm up, tack up and all but actually ride their horses for them. “Sure...I'm fine, a little embarrassed but at least I didn't fall off!” Dan points at my left arm: “You shot yourself, dumb-ass.” I'm sure he didn't really say “dumb-ass” - but you sure feel like one when you look down and realize you just shot yourself in front of 50 people.

I suppose a normal persons thought process when gaping at a smoldering hole in their favorite button down Wrangler shirt and charred, bloody forearm would be to seek medical attention. It is apparent by this stage in my life that I seldom possess such normalcy... “Ah HA!....I bet I can use this little mishap to get out of that stupid move up dance!”

Second thought: “Holy mother of pearl this burns!” It's the burn that keeps on burning. Dan again magically appears with a first aid kit and zip-lock bag of ice. He wiped it down with antiseptic wipes, wrapped it in loose gauze and secured the ice pack against my arm with vet-wrap. Good to go....

They start with the higher numbers at CMSA shoots in the PNW. Starting with the 6's on down to the 1's. With under 50 shooters – I was 8^th out. I was out of the match even if Nicole dropped her guns and fell off her horse. There was no point to run my last stage other than I felt I needed to for my own confidence (suck it up and get back on that horse – cowgirl) and I didn't want Jack to get away with ending a shoot thinking he could avoid being in an arena by attempting to dump my butt in the middle of it.

Putting on holsters one armed proved more difficult than one might think. I could get them on but was struggling with cinching them down. I still had to bridle, get ear plugs back in Jack and I”m pretty sure my hat was on backwards. I was wrestling with the whole process when, as if Heaven sent – appears nurse Cayenne Pepper. I believe her name is actually spelled “Kyanne” but I couldn't for the life of me remember it until she told me it was pronounced Cayenne...like the pepper.

Nurse pepper and another friend and fellow shooter, Christa P Daniels, gathered what vet supplies they had between them and I followed Nurse pepper to her make-shift horse trailer turned ER.

Christa handed Nurse Pepper an antiseptic infused foam scrubber with soft silicone bristles. The term “soft” can be relative in certain situations. “Your gonna scrub it with that thing?” Nurse Pepper: “Yes Ma'am...we need to get as much of the gun powder out as we can. Burns infect easily. Once we get it cleaned up – I'll put a topical numbing agent on it to help with the pain.” Again...I might not think the same as most folks and I'm certainly no medical professional: “Hey...I have an idea...can't we put the numbing stuff on BEFORE you go scrubbing on it?” Nurse Pepper explained that it wouldn't do any good and commenced to apologize repeatedly as she scrubbed the wound clean. To my own credit – I managed to keep the swearing to a minimum and my arm still. The only things twitching and jerking around was my feet. Ah HA...perhaps I can incorporate this twitching and jerking into the dreaded move up dance should it occur!” When life gives you lemons....

I was not at all disappointed that I didn't have time to reload before the last stage. I would lope the pattern without guns and take another 60. Jack did not want to get in the arena and I could feel him tense when we passed the first balloon – but we managed to exit the arena without incident.

The burning progressed as the day went on but as Grandma would say: “It's a long ways from your heart. Deal with it.” I probably won't die and if it gets me out of the move up dance...it will all be worth it!

It did not get me out of the move up dance. As several of my fellow shooters pointed out: “You didn't shoot yourself in the foot, did you?” I sucked it up and managed the most awkwardly lame move up dance in the history of mounted shooting. Lone Pine Rangers president, Stew Butts, relinquished my check and dismissed me to my seat.

I spent that night trying to reason out what Jack's issue was. He hadn't really blown up on me in 13 years. Was he in pain? Possibly. I took him to Tanner Lauman for body work. He was out in multiple places that could have caused him to react as he did. Maybe I didn't warm him up enough for as cold as it was. Maybe it was just Sunday morning and he was over being an arena horse. Jack is not an arena horse and frankly, it's not my favorite place to be either. It's possible that by the last two stages he was simply done with it: “Human...I've got you to the level you wanted to achieve. I am cold, sore and over this balloon killing BS. It is time to deposit your ass in this arena and get back to the mountains where we belong. Shooting yourself in the arm....that's on you, dumb-ass!”

Trail Log: 6-20-2020

• Trail: Lone Pine - Prineville
• Miles: 5.97
• Riders: Self - Jon - Alice
• Horses: Jack - Cochise - Dusty and Zip

Notes: A total change in plans. My original "plan" was to take J'Lo to the shoot in Prineville and have her bred to Kitty's stud. I took her into the vet on Monday for a pre-check/ultrasound. Dr. Frank said she was in heat right now and suggested I not wait since J's never had a colt and she's 11 years old. I asked if he knew of somebody local...he did. Deb Dehaven has a little bay cow/cutting bred stud that  throws some really nice babies. I called Deb and met at her place that evening with J'Lo. Long story short - I ended up leaving her there. I can shoot anytime - but if I want a colt out of J'Lo - I need to do it now.

Wasn't planning on competing off Jack just yet but as they say...shit or get off the pot. I loaded up Jack Thursday morning and arrived at Laumans' with a couple hours to spare before practice. Jack did really well in practice. I kept my fingers crossed he continued to do so the remainder of the weekend.

Folks started pulling in Friday morning for the weekend shoot. There was a big turnout being one of the first shoots in the area since the COVID-19 BS. 93 shooters signed up.

I had a few hours before Friday afternoon practice so saddled up for a trail ride behind the Lauman/Butts ranch. Jon S. and Alice S. joined me.

Practice went well again. I decided to formulate a plan for the weekend. I knew we wouldn't be competitive so my plan was to try for a clean shooter check. Saturday was the OMSA Oregon State Shoot. We weren't fast - but we were clean. Jack is so smooth at that slow lope he's easy to shoot from. We shot the four stages clean and took our first trip to the pay window. I could't have been more excited if I'd just won the Kentucky Derby. We placed 46 overall and 2nd. in our class. Not bad for barely breaking out of a trot.

Sunday was Thunder in the Ochoco's Lone Pine Rangers shoot. I missed a balloon on my first stage putting me out of the clean shooter pot. Might as well go for it...we've got nothing to lose. I let Jack pick up speed with each stage. By the last stage, our time was as fast as my class competitors and we were hardly breaking out of a slow lope. We moved up to #34 in the overall.

Jack was like a different horse without J'Lo there. He gets herd sour and focus's on her when she's around. This weekend, he didn't miss a beat. He was amazing.

The Pumpkin Cheesecake Diaries: 3-1-2020

ALL ABOARD FOR COURSE #22

A quarter to five comes pretty early for a snowbird. I fed the horses at 5:00 AM and prepared to hit the road by 6:30 AM. Normally I arrive at a shoot the day before. I like to get settled in and not feel rushed. ..sort of 'get all my balloons in a row' type thing. This would be my first shoot were I rolled in the morning of...shot, and rolled out. Wasn't nearly as stressful as I thought. You didn't have time to stew about things and work yourself into a ball of nerves. The downside being you didn't have as much time to visit with your shooting friends. Somewhere along this adventure I've become a social butterfly. Eh...maybe not a butterfly...more like a social caterpillar that will one day morph into a butterfly...it could happen? Right? No?

The Winter Range shoot started at 9:00 AM. A three stage, one day shoot paying fastest time per class per stage. No overall class payout. I entered main match and shotgun.

Cindy, Patty and I, along with horses, Cowboy and J'Lo (Patty didn't enter), pulled into Ben Avery shooting facility a little after 8:00 o'clock. We paid our fees at the office and prepared to shoot.

The Senior Lady's 1's go first in this part of the country, unlike the Pacific Northwest where we start with the upper class 6's and work down to the 1's. I prefer it when they start with the sixes. I like to watch them run so I can see the proper way to run a course. Starting with the 1's is a bit unnerving for the 1's. I am a SL3 -regardless of which end they start on, I'm going to be in the middle so I'm relatively unaffected either way. My friend Lynn is a SL1 and was first out of the gate today. I have to hand it to her, she handled it in stride and had three good runs.

My first course was acceptable. I shot clean. I didn't ask for a lot of speed. I tried to run it in a way that took up the least amount of real estate. I would run it different next time. I would run it taking wider barrel turns and less lead changes. Smoother will always be faster. Shoot and learn...

My second run was a train wreck. Well, more of a train ride, actually. A nice leisurely train ride through the countryside. I'm still not certain what happened other than I got completely and totally lost in the pattern....which totally sucks because it's one of the easiest patterns to run. It's called the “S”. By the time I crossed the finish line – I had run the entire alphabet. I 'think' what happened is we over-ran the first gate which shot us out toward the rundown barrel. Instead of cutting back across the arena to the second gate – I got lost – holstered and drew my second gun, turned the rundown barrel...realized too late what I did and ran toward home. I changed my mind just before crossing the timer. I paid my money, damn it...I was finishing the course. I circled J'Lo and made my second pass at the rundown barrel. I'm fairly certain I heard a collective “WTF” from the crowd. Now I'm totally confused on which gun to draw. I shoot AT the second gate (couldn't hit the broad side of a barn if I were standing in it at this point) and make a third pass at the rundown barrel? By this time I'm out of ammo on whichever gun I pulled. When it was all said and done, I made two if not three rundown barrel turns, two rundowns and still left four balloons standing. Some days your the ammo...some days you can't shoot yourself out of a wet paper bag.

I redeemed myself on the third run. I didn't know it until after I got home, but I won stage 3. I don't know if they will send me a check or if you forfeit by not being at the awards. I hope not...it could be like 6 bucks...that's two boxes of Pop-Tarts and a Twinkie!

If I had known shotgun was not open and limited – I would not have entered. I'm glad I didn't know. I love shooting shotgun whether I win or not. There were five of us in the shotgun class. Three young gals I normally couldn't outrun on their worst and my best day and Don Evans, SM5. Don won first. I placed second shooting against 4's and 5's non gender/non age split. I'll take it even without a check.

Cindy and Cowboy had three beautiful runs winning all three stages in their class and placing 10^th in the overall. Not too shabby!

We stopped at the Mesa for dinner and made it home around 5:30 PM. By the time we got unloaded the wind had picked up putting the kibosh on Patty's nightly fire. We caught up with Dave who had a good day roping on his faithful buckskin “Woodrow” by placing second. It wasn't until I started to type this blog and got on CMSA to see how Lynn and Cindy placed that I discovered I'd won my last stage. Shooting, like life...has lessons tucked within the folds of everyday moments. Today I learned to never give up. It ain't over until the fat lady sings, or...in my case: It ain't over until the SL3 takes a train ride through course #22.

The Pumpkin Cheesecake Diaries - 1-18-2020

Candy Canes and Bisley Hammers

I got up early enough for the horses to finish breakfast and take them out for some exercise before stalling Jack for most of the day. I hate leaving him cooped up like that. He didn't want to go back in but I didn't want to worry about him tied while J'Lo runs her stages. I'd take him out for a run when we were through.

This is by far the biggest shoot I've entered. There are over 133 shooters. They ran two arenas. Great – I was barely getting comfortable with managing one. They ran stage 1 in the main arena, stage 2 in the side arena and stage 3 back in the main arena. You had under 30 minutes between stages 1 and 2. I found I like it better...you don't have time to sit around and work yourself into a frenzy between runs.

It doesn't matter that I didn't know anybody before coming here. I recognized the names: 2019 World Champion Dylan Lawson jumped straight off the cover of my RUNDOWN magazine. I watch every You Tube video Kenda Lenseigne puts out. Seeing her run Sparky in person kind of gives you goosebumps. Dan Byrd, Rob Boucher and Cecil Berry under the same roof. The coolest part about it is each of them seem to be as down to earth as people get. You don't get the feeling they are doing you a grand favor by greeting you with a genuine smile and a hello.

It took me a while to figure out the logistics of a shoot this size. Where are the boundaries of the gun loading area? I found that out in short order when the lady running the entry gate kindly pointed out I was in the wrong area after loading. I've been to shoots where the person running it was down right mean if you made a lesser mistake. I'll never figure people like that. I would think it would take less effort to be kind...but whatever. We got other things to do.

There are 13 ladies in my class. I've never had a class close to this size and lucky to get a full class at all. I wasn't as nervous as usual. I think because I didn't expect to be competitive anyway. I'd just run, not safety up and go with it. I didn't know who to follow because I didn't know any of them. The gal running the gate took the time to show me who to follow and when to get loaded and ready. Again...very professional people running the shoot. I would follow Jean and would later get to know her better as a real kick in the pants.

J Bird made her circle and we were heading to my least favorite course in the book – the “Candy Cane,” aka “The Fast Five.” I reminded myself not to safety up. I cleaned up the random five – turned the rundown barrel, pulled the trigger and....click. Damn. I've been doing that a lot in practice. I assumed it was my ammo. I legitimately missed the next balloon and finished off the rest. I had a raw time of 13 seconds. The fastest time on any course for me thus far. J'Lo ran flawless. I was happy regardless of the missed balloon and the clicker. I gained a little confidence thinking maybe I could be competitive with this group.

The next stage was an easy flowing stage. Surely I got this. J' Ran like a rock-star. I finished off the random five...pulled my gun for the rundown and hit a clicker on the 9^th balloon. What the hell? I unloaded and inspected my gun. The cylinder on my second gun was spinning free. The dimple on the ammo hit in the rim and not the primer. Shit.

Lynn disappears and magically reappears with a young girl who's not only a gunsmith, but L5 Rylee Lawson...Dylan Lawson's sister. “Oh...that's not supposed to happen,” she says as she watches my free-spinning cylinder. She asked if I had another gun. I said I did not. I was up in 5 minutes. She ran off with my gun and returned with another for me to use. “Here, use this one until I can get yours fixed.”

I've never shot guns but mine with the exception of the first day I tried mounted shooting with a borrowed gun and horse. Besides the bisley hammer I'd never seen until now, it felt pretty good.

It was another smooth course. J'Lo did her job well. I cleaned up the random five, drew my borrowed gun at the rundown and started to pick them off. It felt different, but not terrible. I thought I had this...I was going to shoot a clean stage. I leveled in on the 10^th balloon and “click.” What the hell. I don't know if I slip hammered or didn't stage the gun correctly. Still, I was OK with it – our raw time was competitive with the other ladies in my class.

I gave J'Lo an extra cookie before stalling her for the night. She ran harder and smoother than ever today. Even with 20 seconds in penalties, I felt like I shot better than I have in the past. I didn't safety up. I successfully tried a few things like longer shots, tracking my targets and running through gates faster. I felt better about my runs today than I have about some shoots I've won. I am more confident now that I can be competitive.

I haven't seen Rylee or my gun since we made the quick trade. She is shooting in some of the auxiliary events going on as I type this. I can hear the announcer and shooting over the loudspeaker - it sounds like she is doing well. I don't know if I'll have my gun back tomorrow for the final two stages. I hope so. I'd like the chance to shoot clean not only to redeem myself, but for J'Lo. She really did give it her all. If not, I guess I better figure out how to maneuver this bisley thing before 9:00 AM.

CMSA Shotgun run

First run shooting shotgun with my new Yildiz .410. Sweetest little gun ever.