The Prickly Pear Chronicles

 

1-11-2021: Rope that smarty

The arena was full of team ropers working on young horses and fresh cattle. I hung back watching for awhile before practicing on the Smarty. I remembered most of what Dave taught us and caught 9 times out of 10. Soon as somebody rode by the fence close enough I thought they might be watching, I'd miss. I can't back a trailer if somebody is watching and the same seems true for roping. Shooting as well. I lose my focus I guess... and I need all the focus I can muster.

The roping practice started to thin out toward evening. I couldn't stand it anymore and saddled Jack. He's been roped off, but not by me. It wasn't a pleasant experience for him. It was more like initiation by fire: Backed into the box for the first time and blow down the arena chasing a steer 9-0. He did pretty well in the moment. It was the aftermath we'd have to overcome. He would balk going into an arena. Once inside, he was all muscle and gnashing teeth.

He does OK if it's just me swinging a rope around him or from his back. What freaks him out is if others are swinging ropes around him...especially if they come at him on horseback. An old cowboy told me he thought he acted like he'd been roped and hang tied. A method used by a few sick morons as a valid method of horse training. I hope I never find out that happened...for all concerned.

Dave and Dan were following the Smarty Cindy pulled around the arena. Dave coached Dan as he roped the head. My plan was to dink around in the round corral and maybe swing a rope until I got comfortable. I didn't get that far. Dave said I wasn't going to learn to rope running around in a round pen...especially without a rope. I think my heart rate jumped 20 beats per minute. Oh shit. I didn't want to start making excuses. I know how annoying that is. It's always the headers fault, the healers fault – the balloons were too small or the gun broke. Maybe the winds not quite right or perhaps it's a Tuesday. We could do this and if things started going south, I'd stop it there. I was not risking all the work we've done over the last few years to get that horse comfortable in an arena. I trusted Dave – he wouldn't have us do anything to blow him up or get us hurt.

To say I was nervous was an understatement. Jack does not like things being pulled by other things. In my infinite wisdom years ago – I had the brilliant idea of teaching him to pull a cart. I won't go into it here – that's an adventure for another blog. I will say that by the time Jack got free of cart and harness – there was little left of either that would be recognizable.

Cindy made sure to keep the smarty in front of us and Dave trotted along on the healer side without swinging his rope until Jack (and me) were comfortable. Once I felt like we weren't going to die chasing smarty around, Dave started to swing. Jack seemed more intent on biting the Smarty's plastic butt. Dave said that was a good thing and to let him do it.

Once we were comfortable with that – Dan and I took turns while Dave rode beside each of us. Dan and Bullseye would catch the horns and Dave would heal it. I still wasn't comfortable swinging a rope and chasing smarty. Baby steps.

I suppose I could have gone to swinging right off the bat. Maybe he would have been fine. I'm not proud – I admit I was scared. I've gone too fast too many times with that horse in the past. I wasn't going to set him back and have to start all over. He got a little amp'ed up just once with some commotion behind him but came back down fairly quick.

Before the lesson was over, I got up the nerve to rope the stationary Smarty, dally...and pull the rope off the horns. We ended it there on a good note. It might not seem like much to anybody watching, but for me and Jack it was a pretty big step.

It will be interesting to see how we do with live steers. Between Jack's re-activeness and my phobia of all things bovine, we make a most unlikely pair to be trying this team roping thing. However, I don't plan on becoming a world champion team roper. I just want to know that I could go out there and rope a cow should the need arise. I don't know when that would be, but a girl should always be prepared.

In the meantime – I prefer killing balloons. It's just you, your horse and 10 balloons. You get to shoot shit, make lots of smoke and noise and none of the targets have horns.

1-13-2021: Holly Glasses, Batman!

Holy Cow...or should I say Holy Glasses! I had no idea how whacked my depth perception has been for the last 30 years. I'm supposed to wear glasses when I drive but I never do. The lenses in them are so small I can't move my eyes without leaving the prescription part of them. It makes me nauseous. I have two pair I got at the eye doctors and both have the same effect. I thought all this time that was just the way it was with wearing glasses.

Cindy gave me a discount card for on-line glasses called Liingo. If you don't have your prescription, which I don't, you download their app and scan a pair of your old glasses. Then you scan your face and take a few measurements and you can virtually try on all the frames you want.

I was skeptical. My “prescription” is close to 20 years old. With a 100% money back guarantee I had nothing to lose. There was a bit of a mix-up at the Aguila post office which meant my glasses were a long time coming. It was worth the wait.

From the moment I put them on it's like a whole new world opened up. I had no idea what I wasn't seeing! Leaves on trees...butterfly's, yellow daisy's, street signs and being able to discern the difference between a car coming at you or a cow. No wonder my driving scared the shit out of everybody that's ridden with me.

Until today, I've only worn them driving. Dan and Teri set up a practice course in the arena. Halfway through I decided to try shooting with my glasses on. It's a little weird walking in them. I feel like I have stubby little legs and the ground is coming up at me. I thought once I got in the saddle, things would look more normal. Nope. It feels like I'm riding a pony. Everybody in the arena is riding ponies, too! It cracked me up! It's the weirdest feeling. The upside to that is it's not nearly as intimidating riding a pony as it is a tall horse. It's not nearly as far to the ground. Cool! Now to shoot some balloons.

The balloons look huge! They look huge AND really close. It's weird – even though the balloons look closer – it doesn't throw me off much – I just feel like I have more time to aim and shoot...which is awesome. Most of my missed balloons are because I shoot too soon or I don't want to take a long shot. With these glasses on – there are no long shots and I feel like I can wait on my shots because I can still see them when I ride past them. Sweet! I should probably practice in them a few more times before testing that theory in competition – but what the hell.

The downside to this miraculous new vision is dismounting. Just because the ground looks closer – doesn't mean it's moved since you put on your new eyes. It's still way down there. The first time I hopped out of the saddle it felt like the ground dropped out from under me.  

Laughing and pointing at everyone riding super stretched out stubby little ponies is going to have to end before my first competition as well. I've made some good friends in this sport and I'd like to keep them.